Hello gang,
I know I have been MIA for a week or so now and apologies to those of you kind enough to get intouch with me to inquire how I am that I have yet to contact, hope this helps to explain..........
I must admit to being rather down of late placing myself in that self imposed isolation and darkness where depression can take you. Then last week my eldest son came down to get ready for work to find me on the floor, xxxxxxxxxxx, unresponsive and frothing at the mouth. He tried to bring me round, but apparently I was lapsing in and out of consciousness. I woke briefly were I was completely disorientated for a few minutes before lapsing xxxxxxxxxxx again. So my son then placed me in the recovery position called for an ambulance. I brought myself round apparently, sat myself on the sofa, totally oblivious to what had happened. I was taken off to hospital, with my youngest son accompanying me I was then immediately placed on a heart monitor (ECG) For the rest of the day, for some reason my heart is beating far too fast, working far too hard and no one knows why. I was allowed home some hours later after further tests with Aspirin and a drug called 'Congescor' which is a beta blocker the drug should help my heart return to a normal rhythm, but three days later it is still racing, my upper body is rocking and I am scared. I have to return for more tests, I am trying not to worry if the doctors didnt think I would be alright they wouldnt have let me home, so I am trying to think positive but admittedly it is not easy.
I have a theory, I am utterly convinced it is connected to that hideous infection I had that traversed through my whole body/system earlier in the year that has stayed with me for months and that I can still feel flowing within my chest. Yet still nothing is showing up in any blood tests so therefore, I feel I am looked upon like I have a very vivid, active imagination, nobody has taken me seriously at all with regards this nasty organism or whatever it is, so I guess it made me feel even more alone, retreat even further within myself to suffer and to battle on in silence not complaining.
There is not a whole lot more I can tell you, I am searching for a silver lining, trying to stay positive its difficult to be frank and I have to go with this no matter what anyways so se la vie people, I will update you all when I know more about the puzzle. I am still not smoking, it has to be nearly a month now so thats something to feel extremely positive about! I feel good about myself for maintaining that one anything is easy once you tell yourself what you need to do, anything can be overcome if the urge/need is there its mind over matter.
I just wanted to explain why I have been absent to the many who have written to me, thank you to you all who did take the time to write to me
![smile smile](https://cdn.hunners.com/_common/modules/emoji/images/smile.gif)
)) Things have a habit of coming together in the end and I am the eternal rubber ball after all....
I will be back when I have more to tell you, hope all is well in your part of the world and take care people xx
![smile smile](https://cdn.hunners.com/_common/modules/emoji/images/smile.gif)
)xx