Gratification's Blog

Hey everyone, you all have a good Christmas/other celebration? (Excuse my religious ignorance).

So practically another year has passed. Possibly the fastest year of my life so far. And in this blog I think I'd like to put my life of 2007 into words that you could understand (not that you'll be too interested).

The beginning of 2007 started positively, although my ex & I split in Sept. 2006, I met somebody new, somebody who cared, gave me time & attention. Somebody who generally made me feel good about myself. We started seeing each other and that lasted on & off for about 6 or 7 months. We still keep in touch, occasionally meet up & what not.

Some of you may or may not know, back in April I was taken to hospital. Thankfully what was 1st thought to be something EXTREMELY serious, turned out not to be but it's still in the back of my mind. From that night onwards, I gave up smoking cannabis as I felt this played a major part in what happened to me the night I was taken to hospital. Excuse me for not going into detail.

Having a "near death" experience REALLY woke me up. It almost ruined me infact. But I've learnt to appreciate life, appreciate those who are in my life. I don't hold any grudges, I help who I can when I can. I just really really try to make myself worth something. I've become quite spiritual within these past 8 or 9 months. I've certainly started to believe in Karma. "Treat others as you wish to be treated" has been at the back of my mind along with "don't worry you'll be fine".

If you'll excuse me I'd like to talk about the other reason I'm in this mindset...

I mention my ex & I split up in Sept. 2006. I thought she was "the one", I felt happy, she told me I made her feel happy. One day, when I started my new job, she phoned me. I missed her call so sent her a SMS asking "what's up? sorry I missed your call". From that day onwards, all hell broke loose. The "truth" started to appear, she told me she felt unloved, unwanted & useless. Told me I didn't think of her or think of our relationship. This was all after she wrote me a letter saying thanks for being a great boyfriend.

Now, if I could ask you to put yourself into my mind for the split second my life went from me being perfection to being the scum of the earth within 2 days. My head was F'd up severely! My life spiralled from that point onwards. To this very day I still think about her.

You're probably thinking "but that happened in 2006, this blog's about 2007, why's he mentioning it?" Well my friends, the answer to that is my moto is "everything happens for a reason" & I feel that our split has controlled 2007 for me for a reason. That reason being, I didn't realise what was important to me, I was in a bubble (call it a love bubble if you will). That reason also being that I was in for a hard time being with that girl because she was so F'd up in her mind that she wanted to manipulate my ways of thinking so I could feel guilty, and I stupidly believed her. I won't mention any names but I'm going to thank her for doing what she did, it may have ruined things but I sure as hell made me realise I needed to appreciate life alot more than I was & not to take things for granted.

2007 also included the death of a young boy very close to me. He was murdered brutally and for no reason involving him. I really do not want to go into detail or mention his name for 2 reasons, one being that I could be found out on this site & I don't want that to happen. The other is not to disrespect the young lad in anyway (RIP wee man).

I'm sorry this entry has been a depressing one, I often find myself at the end of other people's problems & everybody online seems to have a sad story to tell. I just felt like this was my turn & I've found it very theraputic & I hope you have been interested enough to read it.

I want to say thankyou to everybody who speaks to me on here, you know who you all are. And have a fantastic new year in 2008 & I hope it brings you all the joy's you could ever wish for & more. I sincerely mean that.

I also want to say a MASSSSSSIVE thanyou to MDguy, you all know him & you all know he's great. He's helped me alot this year. He probably doesn't even realise it, but he has. And it's been noted & remembered, so thanks big guy *hugs* have a good new year matey!

So that's all for this entry folks, again sorry to bring your spirits down. If I get my cock out will it make things better?

Love Grat xxx

5 comments on my last one, isn't too bad. I've still to get a name for myself here and I guess the only way that's gonna happen is if I post another blog, and another.

So those of you who read my last blog saw I mentiond a few names of people to thank. Those weren't in any order btw. And I DID leave a few names out. My apo's for that, but trust me, you'll know if I have something to thank you for, even if I don't actually say it. Anybody who I've had a convo with more than once, take that as a thanks.

One girl who I didn't thank in my last blog but I want to thank publicly is Cas (cas999). A few months ago, some of you may know I was contemplating terminating my account. I spoke with Cas that same day, and she pretty much flipped my decision. That was kinda the 1st need we'd spoken outwith the room's public eye. So not only me, but all you lucky people on NN have cas999 to thank for me still being here now, and writing this blog lol! Sorry Cas, I'm hoping that's gonna be good for you and not bad lol!

And Cas, I was glad to speak to you again the other night, I thought you had left us because I hadn't seen you in aaaaages! I'm glad you didn't go!

I can't believe the weekend is over now, it's gone way too quick, I don't even know what time I've to start at tomorrow, I forgot to check on Friday hahaha! Oh well!!

Ciao for now folks xxx

I just realised that I've never blogged on here before. Blogs aren't something I've been too keen on but I have had some fun and been interested in reading some of yours, "why not give back" is what I thought to myself, and all you lucky people are reading this.

So, loads of months down the line, after being in the chat rooms for a while, I guess I should thank the people who've helped me along the way.

I 1st started off in the members only chat where it was Lisa who introduced me to some folk (so sorry Lisa, but I can't remember your screen name, you know who you are lol).

Then I got a little bored of members only, it was very quiet, so I drifted into the Public room, where I was quickly taken under the wing of MDguy, cheers buddy, got a shit load to thank you for. You're the 1st guy I didn't curse or swear at for looking at my pics and I even let you enjoy them lol. I don't know why, I just accepted you for the way you are and realise I quite liked attention from anybody hahahaha!

Then I've got the very sexy and hot doodle29, now that's a girl who does it for me. Again, she has been extremely helpful to me, and very supportive, I've enjoyed our wee chats, I hope you have too!

A girl I recently spoke to for the 1st time...Awakened. Wow! She amazes me, we seem to get on really well. You're extremely approachable, I could sit and talk to you for hours and hours on end and never get bored. Not to mention your body is fire!!! You're a real cracker.

Imalilhothead...my wee redheaded vixen. Orange Mountain Dew kicks ass! Again, you're another one who I get on extremely well with, you gotta do something with those kids so you can perv on me more hahaha! And thank God you got more pics up!

CheekyDevil, my sweet! Your photos are endlessley pleasing, and you're an absolute wee darling to talk to, I love speaking with you on Messenger (when you're on) and having some fun (hehehe). You ought to come online more during British time haha!

A guy I spoke to tonight for the 1st time, BitTitsLoverUK (BTL)...a really sound guy! Had some great banter with you tonight mate, no doubt you'll be singing the Scottish national anthem in your sleep hahahaha!

I know I've missed looooads of people out, but I can't think of names right now and you'll all probably hate me hahaha! But I just wanna say a big thankyou to everyone who's looked, voted and rated my pics and I hope you continue to do so!

Hope to catch up with you soon in my next installment of my blog (no idea when that'll be lol).

Take it easy. Loadsa love...Grat xxxxxx