hottlavender's Blog

I just wanted to pop in and say hello and i miss you all. I am away traveling god knows where, but I haven't forgotten you all. I have yet to take pictures and post them up here for you all to enjoy. I think I maybe going to the beach this weekend and meditating a lil bit. Wish me luck and good health as I do you all always. Wishing you were here....

Thank you for all the love and support you are!

Thank goodness for people with open hearts, minds and spirits.
Thank you for the good times, memories and see you soon!
Thank goodness for kindness, humility and patience.
Thank you for your time and understanding always.
Thank goodness for people who understand you and love you unconditionally.

you know who you are and shine proudly.....make and produce love always not war!

=lav

until i leave the country....i will be heading to my home islands for about year. my ultimate curse but we will see how my health gets when i get there. talk about exiled. write me and keep me company when i get there. i am thinking about getting internet or an aircard for my laptop other wise i will be fucked in the wifi department.

where is my home islands? it is a us territory and is out the middle of north pacific islands near Japan and the Philippines so who knows if i can visit you in a near city nearby.

I am breast cancer survivor first and woman second. My breast revision was not for vanity and I didn't get both redone, just my right breast. It has been a struggling five years for me and reading my blogs could help fill in some gaps. But thank you for any and all your compliments.

Well, it is day nineteen since my breast revision number three. I am still in a bit pain mostly because I am trying to get used to the implant in my right breast. It is not the greatest job but I keep getting reminded that I am still ALIVE and kicking. Perhaps they are right, my health and spiritual professionals.

I am officially FORTY and having a midlife crisis! lol. I can hardly wait to go on a vacation to my home islands to rest and destress from my chaos. I have had A LOT to deal with these past few months and weeks. A lot of emotional and physical pain I am managing quite well if you ask me. When it rains, it pours as they say. Well, hopefully in three weeks I will have some beautiful tropical sunset and beach photos to share with you all.

Thank you for all the well wishes on my recovery! That always brings me a smile. Warm, well and sexy wishes for my mental and physical recovery! Thank you thank you thank you..... for all the wonderful support and love you all share with me! I LOVE YOU FOR THAT!

Until then, as I pack and structure my chaos for the next two weeks, keep an eye out for any drop ins. Thank you again for all your support and you are spectacular! HAPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR'S AND WISHES YOU ALL A WONDERFUL, SEX FILLED AND SAFE HOLIDAY!

how about three days after surgery?! i had 215cc of saline implantation as my right breast....it really hurts after hours of sleeping on my back....getting up is like gravity ripping me apart!

i knew i should have waited til after my birthday to have this damn surgery....pray for me y'alls....

as i am trying to break my nerves down and get to bed, i cannot help but think how did i get here and why....

i will try to take pictures from my day surgery room. i am nervous because i am getting an implant in my right breast after i decided not to with the first reconstruction...of course, naturally all the men are suggesting that i get 38DD or 38DDD...ummmm.... obviously men do not know what it's like to have breasts....of course they look gorgeous to look at and occasionally suck on but for crying out loud....they strain your back after awhile to the point of no return...

i will be resting for a whole week until my next break down happens....i will be turning 40 on december 15 and i am having a midlife crisis in return. when does this all end (my grey funk) and get a good break to turn my life around and live productively.

i appreciate all your love, dedication and support! much love and i love you

This is all the rage right now....


[url]http://://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-walking-dead-compendium-volume-1-robert-kirkman/1015226378?ean=9781607060765[/url]

"Starring Role"

You're hard to hug, tough to talk to
And I never fall asleep, when you're in my bed
All you give me is a heartbeat
I've turned into a statue
And it makes me feel depressed
Cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed

You don't love me, big fucking deal
I'll never tell, you how I feel
You don't love me, not a big deal
I'll never tell you how I feel

[Hook:]
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part
When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role.
Sometimes I ignore you so I feel in control
Cause really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone
Fed up with the fantasies, they cover what is wrong
Come on, baby, let's just, get drunk, forget we don't get on

You like my dad, you get on well
I send my best, regards from hell

[Hook:]
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part
When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role

I never sent for love, I never had a heart to mend
Because before the start began, I always saw the end

Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me
But nothing's ever gonna give, I'll never set you free
Yeah I'll never set you free

[Hook:]
It almost feels like a joke to play out the part
When you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role.

The starring role

I pray to thee Athena, Aphrodite and Venus....send cupid over this way and tell him to not miss this time....

I call upon to you for prayers of love, wisdom, passion and strength my goddess sisters....guide me through my weakest and darkest moments for here I am....

*****************************lav