BraGirl's Blog - page 44

Hello gang,

Simply wanted to say thank you so much all the comments on those particular pictures,I have posted, the shower shots, as you know I am not keen on them myself, however you guys seem to like them so thanks people!!

The pictures I have been dropping in after the shower posts are very recent and I am utterly amazed at the response I have had regards those pictures, its so reassuring to me to know my new curves dont just make me good, but they seem to do the same with you guys too, your ace you people, so ahuge thank you!! I doubt very much I will get any bigger in size/weight, so fear not the really big girl within, is to stay right there, I tend to 'bottom out' at about nine stone, (no matter how much chocolate I tend eat)!! So dont have a clue what that is in kilogrames)!!...

I can so see the signs of Spring finally coming here, makes me feel soo good and of course a trip to a totally new continant to look forward too at some point soon, thats if I ever hear from the US Embassy...Just got to be patient and its certainly not one of my stronger points so... er..... GRRRRRRR!!!!

I am doing rather well of late, feeling prtty good about myself for one thing another and for all I have accomplished these past few months and of course remind myself how fortunate I am...

Hope your worlds are happy ones too, you all take care xoxxoxox

Yet another tune...[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM2cvLKjNZs[/url]

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErxfJRfwklo&feature=related[/url] I am a fan of 'trip hop' and of Lamb....Can you tell?? LOL x))))x

Hey gang,

So my yank and myself talked at length yesterday, so I will now tell you what happened and why we 'broke up'.....One am last wk, I signed into msn, not finking the yank would be online at that time, he is usually watching TV, so I told him there was someome I wanted to talk to (usually catch my aussie mates, some are 11 hours ahead)!! So I called him, told him I would be just ten minutes, then I would ring him back....But that turned into 55mins and he wasnt happy with me, that was totally disrespectful towards him, guess he was tired and to him, at that moment, this other person I was talking to in msn was more important to me than him, understandable, but that is certainly not the case at all and he knows that, but right then, the red mist had desended for him,(not a side I have ever seen, So dont start thinking that ok)? Thats how it seemed at any rate. So we both got cross and did the usual "well lets call it a day fing" silly really, so we backed off from eachother for a few days, I had convinced myself it was all over by this time, then I finally plucked up enough courage to ring him and so happy I did, I am still on with my New York mission and as I have told you, he has become part of my life now, so I am back in my love bubble where we belong, just thought I would let you know.....

Heres to a brighter future and happy days, hope your world is a happy one too and thank you so much for all your pm's offing me support, made me cry more that, knowing complete strangers really care so much about me, I am so lucky to have you all...Thank you people, you know who you all are!! MASSIVE LOVED UP HUGZ xoxoxoxo

This is a tune for anyone feeling blue too.....[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGGAsKrKApE[/url] and the lyrics......[url]http://www.lyricstime.com/lamb-till-the-clouds-clear-lyrics.html[/url] Hope I have done this URL fing right can you can now view/listen to the tunes I have sent you...

With regards my previous blog, which I had wrtten immediately after our very early phone call this morning.....Just wanted to say....I didnt push him away and it wasnt entirely my fault either...I really dont think I was given respect at that time. I have been extremely happy for the past few months and so thankfull, I feel maybe, I deserve some respect, I have worked so hard at changing myself in so many ways and I am a totally dfferent person now and for the better I am sure. There is no doubt in my mind, its could down to this certain yank helping me throught it all, maybe that was his brief role in my life, who knows, I know I miss him dreadfully and I do believe we shall stay in touch.
I am not sure why I confessed to the abuse etc to you either, I have never even told my closest friends, I have told no one really, well just one. I guess it is easy to tell a screen!! I must admit, feel alittle weird about that, but I guess it gives you all some idea what lies beneath....I dont know what the Universe has in store for me, now but bring it on, I am ready!! I will be posting soon.

Take care people xoxoxox

Hey gang,

Well my cyber bubble has burst.....Again. I have far too many issues/emotional baggage for someone to try to understand, (hey I still dont understand myself)!! and they tried, but I guess I am either far to complex or most proberly totally difficult at expressing how I feel...I dont know what the real meaning of love is or how to behave I suppose when you are 'in love'. I think the damage is done now, it maybe beyond repair between myself and my mr bed head. Its all down to me and my total inability to form, then maintain a relationship with anyone, hence being single for so long. too many shitty things happened in my life that I cant seem to let go, none of which were my responsiblity, I didnt ask to be abused as achild, or etc etc. But you do blame yourself dont you..I asked for it some how and I think they then define who you are as a person...Unworthy and I think in the back of my mind, thats what I have done with this chap. I have pushed him away, I dont feel I am worthy of being loved, I hate myself so how can I expect anyone to like or love me???
So I am feeling extremely down now, not down enough to think about going back to the life with the heroin, I am stronger than that, so fear not. I am not a nice person really, I can be prone to thoughtlessness, selfishness etc etc. I think I have more bad qualities than good thats for sure, but hey tomorrow is another day right? Just got to try to get through this one first...

Sorry for waffling on at you, I had to talk to someone, I feel pretty alone at the moment, but I also think I have asked for this...

Hope your world is happier than mine, take care guys xx

I just wanted to explain about the shower shot series I am posting at the moment...We took these pictures maybe eighteen months ago now, I really dont like the pictures at all, I loath them in fact and the only reason is because they remind me of my former life when I was using the heroin, I was so skinny and the pictures are just not me!!! I am now a stone heavier and certainly dont use heroin any more, so I have been avoiding posting any of the said pictures, but I have had my orders from my photographer so hence the posts last night, I will intersperse with some more recent pictures of myself, so you can see the difference, in fact the 'ass' shot I put up for delectable penis I only took that one two weeks ago, I love my new curves!! ))

I am so much happier these days and thats partly down to a certain yank who makes me feel so good about myself, I am only waiting now for the American Embassy in London to send me an apppointment to attend an interview to see if I am suitable to be let into the US, I see no reason why they shouldnt grant me a visa, but its the States so you never know....So strict now post 9/11 So I cant get a flight ticket or allow myself to get really excited about my possible trip, not til I know for sure they will let me in for two weeks. I will certainly let you all know what happens.

Hope your world is a happpy one, take care my friends BIG HUGZ xx

Hello gang,

I have to make a special announcement..I want to send a HUGE thank you to Delectable penis for his extremely generous gift of three months free premium membership, I was and I still am, very overwhelmed with his generosity, I feel very special indeed and oh the fun I can have now!! He he.

So thank you so very very very much Delectable penis!!

On the home front, well my cyber love bubble is still very much intact and I am cant tell you how happy this chap makes me feel, I just walk around with a massive smile and a smug look on my face, knowing I am not alone and I am so very lucky to have found him, he has become someone very important to me, makes me feel I am as important to him too, the only thing keeping us apart now is red tape and a massive big pond, but not for long, anyways the path to true love and all that!!

Hope your all well in your own worlds xx

hello gang

I was missing around today in 'my friends activities' and I then came across a page of friends who had deleted their accounts for whatever reason, but then I was horrified to see a list of 37 people long, of people who had 'removed me' as a friend..Ouch!!! I know I can be dreadful at staying in touch, keeping up and granted I have never looked at this stuff before over the past four years I have been posting, so I suppose if you look at it like that, I have and I am not doing to bad for my friends really, I still have plenty yet to upset in some way!! LOL just wanted to let you know, it is still all good on Planet Kas, take care people xx