CrimsonDreadwolf09's Blog - page 7

Oh to be tall, skinny, and have small perfect breasts that were perky.

1. I'd definitely be taking way more photos, and be able to include both my face and my boobs at the same time. No more holding them up, and no more cropping out or covering up my stomach. One would also be able to see my labia sitting instead of it being blocked by a bit of stomach. No more disgusting jiggle either of my stomach every time I go up and down. I would even take outside nude photos if I was tall, skinny, with small perky boobs.

2. Be able to go braless in public, because obviously there is no sagging when it comes to bigger boobs. With a better body, I could wear strapless tops or tops to show off a bit of stomach. I could wear short skirts and shorts to stay cool in the summer, instead of capris or pants all the time. Seriously, there's a lot of good stuff out there!

3. I could wear a bikini instead of a one piece bathing suit.

4. I could wear a lot of sexy lingerie. They got a lot of cute lingerie out there, and I can't wear any of it due to my current body type. No garters, no stockings, no cute bras and panties, especially ones that have like a butterfly type patterns on them.

Man did I get the shitty stick.

1. Natural big boobs like I have, have some sag due to size; so, considered unattractive because of that. There's also plenty of cute tops out there I'd love to wear but I require a bra.

2. I may find a boob out of my sleeping shirt when I wake up, and have to put it back in.

3. The biggest enemy, boob sweat in the summer. I have to wash myself well and rub in some baby powder to smell good and keep from getting irritated.

4. Weight of big boobs weigh down the bra, hence digging into my shoulders. I do my best to be braless and wear a bra unless I absolutely have to.

5. If I stick something in my cleavage, I completely forget it's there until I get topless. Next thing you know, it falls on the floor.

6. Can't wear low cut tops without looking "trashy".

Big Boob Perks:

I got nothing.

Consider yourself lucky if you have small and perky breasts.

1. Why post photos then if you hate your body?

I signed up here two years ago, and decided to post photos in the hopes of raising my confidence up. Altogether, I have posted over 120+ photos within two years. I found this website through Quora, after a woman described NN as positive and pretty much free to post photos.

Yeah...unfortunately it didn't bring up my self-confidence.

I keep seeing women who look much better than I do, such as tall, skinny, and with perky breasts. Then I'm over here short, a bit chubby, and a bit of saggy breasts that are that way due to size. I had deleted at least 96% of my photos three times. I could no way stand next to these perfect women looking the way I do.

My newer photos I either crop out my belly, or cover it with a tanktop, shirt, or blanket. I mostly raise my arms up, take top view photos, or hold my boobs up to make them look perky. I feel bad when someone posts a public photo of me in the chat, and before or after there's a much better woman whom I can't be equal to.

Wish I was born with good genes, but I got screwed.

2. You're a virgin?

Yes, but I didn't have a choice.

Last guy I dated was in 2011, and we had dated for only five to six months. All we did was PG stuff, which is holding hands and kissing. If we wanted sex, I definitely would have gone for it. After my breakup with him, most guys I met were long distance and/or I got friendzoned. Some seemed nice at first, but then showed their true colors later. Last but not least, I'm not attractive to anyone around here where I live. I hope that changes with a member here, but I've learned NEVER to keep my hopes up.

It sucks, but that's life I guess. Some are dealt good cards, or like me you're dealt bad cards every time.

I've been on here two years, and for the first time came across a user on NN who has done nothing but mainly harrass women in the public chat.

He really needs to be removed from this site, and both me and a friend had reported him. I blocked him just in case he went after me, and from what I've seen in public chat has nothing more to do than be nasty. I have seen him accuse women of being males, and that they're fake because there's no verification from them. He would get nasty to them, or to anyone that sticks up for the women. NN should be a safe place, and unfortunately he's no longer making it feel positive. I noticed too that he has a blank profile picture, no pictures, and no information. All he has in his bio is "can't be bothered".

He's one to talk, wouldn't you say? Accuses people of fake posts, but has NOTHING on his profile.

The moderators or whoever need to get on the ball and remove him from the site. Clearly his intentions is to harrass women and be nasty to anyone who stick up for them. He's also making NN less enjoyable because of his actions. I don't want to stand by and watch him get away with harrassment.

For awhile now, I question whether or not I should be on this site or not. I'm thankful that I met joakim44 on here, one whom I've been talking to off here every single day for a year. One day I hope we meet, but that's hard with distance and COVID. But still, here's why I question why I'm on here.

1. I've been on here two years now, and my views literally just reached 14,000+. But then I see other accounts especially of other women with like 25,000+ or even higher and they've been on for less than a year. My low numbers make me think I shouldn't even be here at all. I know I shouldn't care about views, but to me they tell me there's some things I may not be doing good enough.

2. I have dealt with body dysmorphia for years, and it has gotten to the point on here where I have covered my stomach or crop it out whenever I upload them. Seeing all the beautiful women who are perfectly skinny, have perky breasts, and are tall made me delete nearly 200 photos altogether in the past. I don't feel like my photos should be up there with theirs, as I feel I look like s**t compared to them. They are what artists draw or sculpt, and the first type of women men will talk to. I wish I could xxxxxxxx my fingers and look just like them, you know? I'd feel SO MUCH BETTER about myself. I can wear bikinis, short shorts, and tanktops in public.

I honestly feel depressed when I see in the chatroom somebody would have my photo up publicly, then either before or after it was posted a photo of a much better woman is put up. I see that, and in my head I wish they'd take it down because there are women who look far better on here than I do. Whenever I'm topless in the bathroom, I always lift up my boobs and pretend they're small and perky like theirs. When I see their stomachs, I wish mine was flat so I could take better photos. I wish I was overall rich, and hire a proper trainer to help me out and get surgery for a reduction and lift.

3. I feel like a freak, simply because I feel like the only person in here who hasn't had sex. And no, I did not choose to be celibate at all. I'm deemed ugly where I live, and have been bullied mainly by boys in middle and high school. Whenever I get compliments in here, I think they're crazy, need to check their eyesight, saying it to be nice, or they entered a bet. I just don't know how to take a compliment because I never received one in my life. It's like the quote by Charles Bukowski:

"I've had so many knives stuck into me that when someone hands me a flower, I can't quite make out what it is. It takes time."

Those knives are easy to recognize since I'm so used to it, but a flower is a different story.

I wonder how long until I make the big decision to delete my profile on here. I wanted to before, but unfortunately I couldn't as a follower in the past bought me a year's premium, and I didn't want to waste his money he spent on it. It expires in July, so that's a few months from now. I just don't feel good enough to be on here with the beautiful women, and I don't exactly have a healthy mind either. I wonder if I should delete it in a few months once my guy's gift is up, and come back when I'm mentally in a much better place. That might be in a year, a few years, or ten years from now.

Who knows.

To anyone that has followed me for a long time, I did have a few videos up before deleting them. They've been long gone now, and of course they were deleted off my phone as soon as I had posted them on here. Ever since I deleted them, I never posted anything new to the video section.

A few reasons why.

1) They didn't garner near enough views as the once 53 photos I had did. Each video got like under 500 views altogether.

2) I noticed videos that are most popular involve couples. I don't have a spouse or someone to meet up with. So yeah...I can't do any blowjobs and what not if I don't have anyone here. I hope that changes in the future with a user on here I've been talking to everyday since April 22nd of 2020.

3) I also notice masturbating with toys is another popular favorite, but I don't own any sex toys. Since I also don't have a camera person, it'd be hard to get a good shot, especially since I have nowhere good to set up my phone in my current small bedroom.

I HAVE done videos...but it was only sent to someone privately. And yes, pictures or videos were sent in return.