BirdLover's Blog - page 11

Here are the top ten questions from your NN community!
From BirdLover to YOU!

Question 1:What do you like about WOMEN?

Women are fickle, nasty, horrid, and viscous creatures that I can count on as being one hell of a dependable posse’.

Question 2: What planet are you from?
C’mon it ain’t Mars… Venus- because it rhymes with -------?

Question 3: BirdLover give me one word describes you?
One??? Conviviality. Ha! Look that one up… If you KNOW this word feel free to leave it in the comments section.

Question 4: Do you like farmers?
Wayyyyyy more than sharecroppers.

Question 5: Did you have to have a background check to get into the CIA?
Think about it- They search your credit to rent an apartment what kind of climbing around do you think they are going to do if you are trusted with international technology secrets? Yes they crawled up my butt and out my ear. Twice. High paying jobs with international favors have a bit of their own dominatrix flavor.

Question 6: What is your favorite country?
The USA! Bitch about it all you want, it is home of quality toilet paper, feminine products that ROCK, and the only Diet Mountain Dew on the planet. The USA also has PAVED ROADS and MAPS to those roads for every square inch of our sweet motherland.

Question 7: When do we see ALL of you?
Is this a religious question?

Question 8: Would you like to have fresh fruit eaten out of you C*NT?
First of all, that naughty word went out of style as a NOUN in 1973. I would sooner wear petticoats on a swim trip to the desert.


Question 9: Do you use sex toys?
I AM A SEX TOY- if you have not caught on by now.

Question 10: How do you manage work, travel, and family?
I have a unique ability to part with loads of money, I believe in the miracles of prescription medication for PMS ridden teenagers, I hold vast amounts of property/casualty insurance, and I have a great administrative staff.

Hey I adore you guys! Thanks for the e-mails and all the wacky questions. You make my day and keep me on my toes.

Tweet Tweet from the Bird…

Because tonight question has such a long answer I am only giving ONE out tonight. But damn- it was a hell of a ride.

Question 1: Have you ever been naked in a helicopter?

Oh God- I wished I could have taken my clothes off…Listen to this one. The ONLY helicopter ride I have ever been on was the very moment my youngest child tapped into his greatest fear.

Just as we got to the greatest view of the Grand Canyon, the co-pilot “ DAVE” tells the kids to look out the window and instantly my son turns green and tosses the large coke, cheese fries, chili-dog and some skittles candy that was in his stomach out in a projectile vomit that was VERY impressive.

It blasted the window with a wicked re-coil; the girls become saturated in bits of regurgitation debris and immediately release the safety harness and scatter like RATS to try to get out of the way. Next comes the physics lesson- ALL the weight in the helicopter suddenly switches sides and the simultaneously the driver looks back to see what is going on and the whole machine makes a JERK that makes one of my daughters start to cry and another scream out “IT’S JUST LIKE JURASSIC PARK WE ARE GOING TO DIE!”

My husband being the prince valiant that I married looks at her and says- “THEY WERE IN A CAR NOT A HELICOPTER”!

To this my snotty 14 year-old pubescent, anal retentive, straight A student, swings her head to scold her father “huuuumpf- same thing!” … “its NOT going end well”

My son has a face full of his own lunch and does not even attempt to open his eyes.

Thank the Lord- I tell him to keep them closed tight so we do not have a repeat performance and so he cannot see the war posse of sisters that are in attack position that could burst into flames at any minutia of agitation.

We sat in photo album silence in the bottled up smell of a snack bar with a bad altitude as the pilot lands safely and closes up shop for the day.

I spent about 90 minutes in the public restroom as the girls as they yelled out:

Gross! Disgusting! Ewwww.

While prince valiant and the boys just wash up and think- wow- that was awesome. . .

Later I mailed him the family picture of us getting into the helicopter, and a $100 bill.

So there you have it- the one time I was in a helicopter I would have loved to rip off my clothes…. Only because I needed to put fresh ones on. I will catch up with you later. Love you guys!!

Thanks so Much for your kind words and CRAZY e-mail questions.
It is totally fun to chat with all of you.

Question 1: Do you work for the CIA?
I was not and am not responsible for intelligence that is needed by our nation's leaders. Technical intelligence is an area that researches foreign technology and I now work in International Banking. And the “IN” crowd no longer calls it the CIA because it is now a band of 14 agencies and it is just called IC for Intelligence Community.

Question 2: Can you shoot?
Yep- I can shoot: the breeze, dice, craps, the shit, a gun, the camera lens, rifle, and all o n the straight and narrow.

Question 3o you trade pictures with couples?
I have pictures available online only send as many as you want we are not premium members.

Question 4: Does your husband know you are cyber-live?
Well since he does take the pictures I think he is “ON TO IT” It is just a fun hubby-hobby to play dressup with your naked wife.

Question 5:What is the biggest dick you have ever been with?
The biggest dick I have ever known was also an asshole- imagine that.

Question 6: What part of your body will bring you to orgasm the fastest?
I will answer this to ALL men- My mind is the largest sex organ and the majority of seduction is done outside the bedroom and placed in a “COOCHIE CUPON” style file in my mind. When my mind is at ease there is no stopping the crave… The second sexy spot on me is my lower back right above my rump.

Question 7: Have you had sex on a plane?
I am not a current member of the mile high club.

Question 8: Have you had sex in Las Vegas?
Silly Rabbit-What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…

Question 9: Have ever been video taped having sex?
Yeah- and I have NO idea where those early tapes are. I bet some guy at the Goodwill is one very lucky man watching me have wild fun in a black Stetson, bull-rider chaps and a smile.

Question 10:Have you had sex on a greyhound bus?
No. But I did have a boy we nicknamed “octopus ” in high school offer to “Finger” me while I was wearing a Calvin mini-skirt. We called him octopus because his hands were everywhere.

I do have more and I will get to them soon. Thanks for the e-mails. You ROCK! And I love hearing from you.
Tweet Tweet!

I love this site. You have so many different people all coming together to share nonsense.

Question 1: Have you ever cried and cum at the same time?
Yes, sometimes the orgasm is just so emotional that you can't help but burst into tears. It is usually a complete surprise to myself and my partner. I have found that nothing kills a perfectly good hard-on faster that crying during sex.

Question 2o you pose nude for artists?
Not at this time but artists can pose nude for me. Just send an e-mail.

Question 3: What are the top three things you think men find sexy about you?
I do not need your credit card I have my own
I am like a GTO in that I am never predictable but always reliable
I do not mind wearing whipped crème as an after dinner bra

Question 4: Have you ever seen Tom Green naked?
No, but I have suffered through my husband constantly reading excerpts from his autobiography to pay me back for crying during sex.
.
Question 5: Do you like Italians?
Yes, as long as they are not completely encrusted in body hair.

Question 6: Do you Yahoo?
Only if I am on a bucking bronco.

Question 7: Have you had honey licked from between your toes.

Question 8: Are you orally fixated?
Yes every chance I get.

Question 9: Do you like my cock?
Almost as much as I love running barefoot through the grass.

Question 10: Have you ever has sex in a Laundromat?
No, but I have had to stand semi-nude waiting for my clothes to dry after getting caught in the rain. I was waiting for a bus drenched and teeth chattering and I spied the neon glory of the WASH-O-MATIC in Ames Iowa and jotted across the street to pop my clothes in the dryer. 40 minutes later I was panty free with warm jeans and ready to ride the bus..

Catch you all later. Your the best!!!

It never gets dull around you guys.

Question 1:What size are your nipples?

For Mr K I will only print the answer if you tell me how much the bet is for and what my share would be if you won.

Question 2:Are you really Monica Lewinski?

No- I think she has a corporate job. I am self employed and work in international banking. But we both wear navy suits to work so it is easy to get us mixed up- oh and I live on a farm and she has a NYC apartment.

Question 3:Would you ever have sex with Jack Black?

No, Jack and I are both happily married to other people and that would not bode well with our current lives. Besides he has no idea I live on this planet called earth…

Question 4o you have sex on the webcam?

Not in socks, not with a fox, and not in a box. I will not have sex on a webcam.

Question 5: What are the three worst dating mistakes a guy can make?

1)Drool or twitch uncontrollably at any time
2)Carry a highly objectionable odor
3)Use the name of his pecker in the third tense (Sam would like…

Question 6:What is the oddest job you have ever had?

Passing out condoms at a college bowl parade while wearing a costume of a penis (My mother was out of her mind)

Question 7:Would you consider having sex on a tractor in an open field?

The trick with this is to not burst into flames while listening to the Charlie Daniels Band…

Tractor turned OFF, no cab, old Moline, at night, in the spring, on a hill and with a full moon.

Question 8: Are you happily married?

Yes and so is my hubby- I spent all last night letting him take nude photo’s of me for his private collection. He likes me A LOT today.

Question 9: Do you really like birds?

And bees. And the lovers in the trees.

Question 10: Have you ever had Hostess cupcake crème licked off of your nipples?

As matter of fact I HAVE. I was in a inner tube wearing only hiking boots on the Colorado River with a guy I was in CIA training with. It was 1991, Desert Storm was a very odd time for me …

OK, You guys are AWESOME! Thanks for the craziness. If you keep those card and letters coming, I will keep posting and keep answering.

Tweet Tweet.

Here is todays TOP TEN reply for questions.

I don't know where you guys get some of your questions and I have made notes on your requests, watch for the new uploaded pictures.

Question 1: Have you ever been naked with farm animals?

Growing up with farm animals you would know- you WANT to keep your clothes ON.

Question 2:Have you ever had sex with a cop?

No I have just had sex in front of the police station.

Question 3: What animal would you choose as a mate?

I would choose a human animal.One that growls and paws at you.

Question 4:What means more to you- Great Hair or Great Shoes?

Great hair costs more and you have to wear it every hour of your life. Dollars spent on quality hair is like money in the sexual bank.

Question 5: When are you going topless?

The BirdLover show will be going strong for the next 52 weeks- so stay tuned you never know what may happen.

Question 6:Are your breasts REAL?

100% USDA Fresh my friend. No augmentation has been done to this body except from exercise, corsets, and breast creme.

Question 7:
Have you ever had peanutbutter licked out of your asscrack?
No I have not sat in peanutbutter, nor have I had the need to have something sweeter than ME wiped in my crack.

Question 8:How far would you drive for GREAT sex in one night?

The whole damn night- and I would drive topless if I had to. Thanks to the power of breasts I only have to call and sex is delivered to my door.

Question 9: Are you taking requests and will you pose as a woking woman with glasses?

Yes Hubby loves requests and I will work it into the mix.

Question 10: Who are the top three sexiest men in the world right now?

1) YOU!
2)The Pope
3)Tiger Woods

Tweet Tweet!

You guys are so funny! I love all the wacky personal questions you are sending. Some of them make me laugh until my sides hurt. Don't you guys have JOBS or someplace to BE during the day???
OK here are tonights answers.

YES there REALLY is a town named Shenanoah and I am in it.
and YES I do think the Shenandoa Mayor is submitting to NN.

I have had no surgery scars- But I do have others-
I have one from a kickball accident in sixth grade on my left knee while catching a outfield ball from my arch enemy Karl Massoning who was also the best ball kicker in school and liked to put frogs in my lunchbox. I think he is currently unemployed.

A fall through the barn roof while playing GI Joes with my brothers in fifth grade that left a slice on my leg- so my little brother( who did not fall through) put black marker on the GI's to emulate my scar.

I have one on the same leg from falling off the back of the hay bailer during bikini malfunction in the seventh grade.

A bike accident in 9th grade from Scott Maccacby trying to pull my pants off while I was coming home from Volleyball and left me a scar on my elbow and my surprise he was also my first prom date.

I have a TWO small DOT scars on my butt from my sister poking me with a marshmallow cooking fork while we were camping in Utah.

I had 17 stitches inside my mouth from showing off and flipping over the front of my mountain bike on a first date with some guy named Todd in college. I was sooo cool and on a small campus that trick initiated my college drinking nickname of BloodyMurder. The best part is that when you got really drunk you would just yell at the top of your lungs for me wherever you are. BLOODYMURDER... People still yell it when they see me twenty years later. hmmm

And finally a set of 22 stitches on my foot from a late night dare and a skinny dipping incident in Georgia. I was running out of the water after spotting a very big gator and had slipped on sharp rocks. I also lost my underpants and had to get stitched up in a jeanskirt with no panties.

Stay fun! Your the best..

Here is my husbands favorite of me at the beach. Sorry about the date stamp-I am troubled with technology it is a fresh pic because we took it last week with our new camera that I promptly dropped when I saw a lizard. It was scary... and BIG.

To answer the questions that have been sent-
Yes the teasing will continue because all you guys need a little WANT in your life
YES! I am a Jackie Chan fan and fan club member
Yes I am in Boxing and yes I can jab,uppercut,and hook
Yes I know how to SKI
No I have no ski-buuny photos
Yes it is true the e-book "How To Care For Your Sex Slave" is almost finished and will be ready in spring 2007.
No I am not a full time sex slave I have a job
No I have never made love in groups
Yes I have travelled to other coutries-17 to be exact
Yes it is my husband that directs the photo's and does all the uploading and naming of the the pictures.
Yes we will include a pictur if the bird at a later time.
No I do not have any white GO-GO boots

HUGS!!!