BirdLover's Blog - page 9

Yes, thanks you for noticing but I am deleting a bunch of shots from my portfolio. A girl just needs to stay FRESH. They may get a re-play.

Here are the top ten questions from your NN community!
From BirdLover to YOU!

Question 1:What do you like about WOMEN?

Women are fickle, nasty, horrid, and viscous creatures that I can count on as being one hell of a dependable posse’.

Question 2: What planet are you from?
C’mon it ain’t Mars… Venus- because it rhymes with -------?

Question 3: BirdLover give me one word describes you?
One??? Conviviality. Ha! Look that one up… If you KNOW this word feel free to leave it in the comments section.

Question 4: Do you like farmers?
Wayyyyyy more than sharecroppers.

Question 5: Did you have to have a background check to get into the CIA?
Think about it- They search your credit to rent an apartment what kind of climbing around do you think they are going to do if you are trusted with international technology secrets? Yes they crawled up my butt and out my ear. Twice. High paying jobs with international favors have a bit of their own dominatrix flavor.

Question 6: What is your favorite country?
The USA! Bitch about it all you want, it is home of quality toilet paper, feminine products that ROCK, and the only Diet Mountain Dew on the planet. The USA also has PAVED ROADS and MAPS to those roads for every square inch of our sweet motherland.

Question 7: When do we see ALL of you?
Is this a religious question?

Question 8: Would you like to have fresh fruit eaten out of you C*NT?
First of all, that naughty word went out of style as a NOUN in 1973. I would sooner wear petticoats on a swim trip to the desert.


Question 9: Do you use sex toys?
I AM A SEX TOY- if you have not caught on by now.

Question 10: How do you manage work, travel, and family?
I have a unique ability to part with loads of money, I believe in the miracles of prescription medication for PMS ridden teenagers, I hold vast amounts of property/casualty insurance, and I have a great administrative staff.

Hey I adore you guys! Thanks for the e-mails and all the wacky questions. You make my day and keep me on my toes.

Tweet Tweet from the Bird…

To celebrate Hairy Potter and his new adventure I am going to shave my little Potter. Are you with me??
Bird

Hey everyone it is that time again!

The Top Ten Questions that YOU the NN audience have sent in to me.

I gotta say there was a lot of political talk this week. This is a PORN SITE remember? Take your clothes off and have some fun. You not supposed to use your brain. silly boys...

Question 1 Will you show your bush if BUSH gets impeached?
I will honor my countrymen who are fighting overseas with my own BUSH OUTING if he gets ousted.

Question 2 When Bush’s term is over will you show your pussy?
Not unless the war is over. But for Hillary…
maybeeee

Question 3 What other political reasons would cause you to share your pussy with us here on NN?
I would also commit to doing a panty free “ freedom shot” when Guantanimo Bay is closed down and we all start playing by soldier’s RULES that are constitutional. It's a nice document and is updated often.

Question 4 Will you suck on my Johnny Rocket while my wife eats you?

It sounds like a food chain that a Bird could get cooked-
Heyyy is that Thanksgiving you are inviting me to?

Question 5 Where the hell are my cornfield shots?
As usual Bird is innocent and Hubby is to blame. He has thought of nothing but himself since his cum party. As son as I can get him out of his arrogant narcissistic ways (and offline) I will ask him to take me out to the field.

Question 6 Do you feel like a tramp letting your Hubby’s friends take of your clothes and play with you?

Not even a teeny bit. Wait.
Let me think.
Ahhhhh-
NO way you jack-ass! I feel like I save THOUSANDS because I just cinched my whole marriage up tighter than a noose on hanging day in 17th century England . What man is his right mind would EVER leave a woman that gave him THAT gift just for kicks...

I am the new age kind of female: hard nosed, butch with tools, self made and 110% GRRRRRurl. (And I would do it again just to see his bad-ass talk-big and blow faster than he wanted because the REAL DEAL makes you just BLOW)
.
Question 7 Do you like men with large feet.
As long as they are not kicking my ass during training camp.
I am all-good with organs of locomotion including FEET.

Question 8 I like your abdominal viscera.
Thanks, most people like my tits more than my tummy but I am also very fond of my tummy-tum. I like your superior and inferior vena cavae and you are PUMPIN’

Question 9 who do you like better Bugs Bunny or Duddley Do Right?
As a character I like the dundering Do-Right as a mental or psychological structure of a person I like the psyche of the Rabbit.
For me, my love still goes out to Speedy Gonzales this first ultra-marathon man.

Question 10 Is it true you only tried on NN because you were pissed at your husbands porn choices?

Yes- I felt I had a better action plan package than anything he ever downloaded.
I decided to BE his porn and it has been one heck of a ride. I took a few shots and then handed him the camera. The rest is history.

For all you girls out there who read my blog it is tough to let your Hubby take pictures of you and then NOT delete the ones you hate. I have posted 100 pictures and my hubby has a stash of 1,500. It has xxxxxx me to look at myself in a kinder light and with a lot less seriousness. Women can get very bent over their body image and everyone should STOP the self put downs and find out what makes them sexy.

This experience has helped us BOTH talk about our bodies in a more open and kind manner. It also helps that I am the most comfortable when I am naked.

Well thanks for the love,
I will keep posting and YOU need to keep writing.
Bird

Hey it is delayed and I am sorry I have not gotten to all the questions but here is the next BATCH of questions YOU have sent to ME.

Question 1 Do you like to do 69?
My car can drive faster than that but sometimes a nice slow 69 is a great speed.

Question 2 Will you have sex with my wife?
Ok call me a slacker but-Isn’t that YOUR job?

Question 3 Do you plan to go back and work for the CIA?
NO WAY. I love my country BUT the money is wayyyyy better in the civilian market and I never have to check a gun or go to combat training for 12 days of covert ops.

Question 4 Does your husband like to watch you have sex with other men?
Why- he can watch HIMSELF have sex with me- he has hundreds of video clips of me. I am his favorite pastime. Have you ;looked at my tits?? Would you share???

Question 5 Am I your favorite NN poster?
Oh yes. That is for sure… who the hell are YOU??

Question 6 Did you like to get tied up?
Rope and leather match my outfits- I find it to be a fashion statement.

Question 7 Do you like sex in the morning?
Well like they say: Semen- its not just for breakfast anymore.

Question 8 Do you like fruit spread on your tits?
I like other liquids on my tits.

Question 9 have you ever had sex with multiple men at one time.
Live or in my head?

Question 10 Do you have kids?
I wish I had baby goats but alas I have children and they are much harder to herd.
See You all
Thanks for the Love..
BIRD

I MADE THE NN FRONT PAGE!!! CHECK IT OUT.

Hey there NN world! Hubby and I have been overtaken with e-mail about the requests from you the viewer, and of the annoyance that I (not hubby, he would post 15 a day if I would let him) have taken off some pictures that some viewers were particularly fond of.

I will address the picture removal first:

I did not send the images to PLUTO to be mated with aliens. I have not set them aflame on a priest’s doorstep, and I am not losing them in a divorce. Digital is forever baby; we can post the again. I am a girl and I do need to sift and sort and tidy up a bit. If they are not getting views I pull them off.

Second the e-mails- I have to say THANKS for all the great ideas, you are a very creative bunch and funny as hell. We will post another round of the requests soon. They are AWESOME!

It is that time of the week that we all wait up nights for, so lets get BUSY!!
The top ten questions to the BIRD.


Question 1) My jelly stealers would like to play a few notes on your fleshy bagpipes and then give you an slab of hot Irish Confetti.

Well now that is original.
My beautiful titties( fleshy bagpipes) need not be fondled by jelly fingers( hands).
No one over 18 has jelly fingers, so you naughty boy-
You must be over 18 to chat with the Bird.

Irish Confetti (semen) does win the cool phrase of the week.

Question 2) Do you eat cock snot?

Knock knock hairy munk with the spunk,
That kind of talk will keep your jock itchin’ for a twitchen but will get you no honey from the Bird.

Question 3) What made you chooses to finally reveal your nipples.

I just gave up trying to cover them after the guitar shot.
Once the “cat was outta the bag” I just let em’ rip.
I hope you like the full breast shot.

Question 4) Will you enslave me?

I have to play Moses on this frontier. I let all the people go.

Question 5) Why would you consider having sex with a small Asian dick like Jackie Chan?

(Hands in ears) (Loud humming)
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
You hurt me so…

Question 6) Will you dress up in a KISS style outfit and give us a licking style picture?

I am not a Hard Luck Woman or a Strutter but I was Made for Loving You…
Oh God of Thunder, You Shock Me with your Love Gun and I think I am Goin’ Blind.

OK enough of the KISS trivia.
BIRDS the species that I represent do not have Gene Simmons tongues and if they did-
I---- am not that type of bird.
I just do not get from our comments and e-mails that people want to see the BIRDS lips with black lipstick and a dreadful 70’s female impersonator KISS wanna be.
God Gave Rock and Roll to You- You Shalt Not make it Unholy.
(That is ten hits those of you counting song titles because this is a top ten list ya know.)

Question 7) Have you ever made it with Freddy Mercury.

OK you caught me.
I DID worship Freddy because every song he sang was sung directly TO ME.
I wanted some one to love.
BUT hello----two words for ya.
DEAD and GAY.
Also
Born in Zanzibar and as old as my father.


Question Do you think men with hairy chests are good looking?

Just for the record, I would always prefer chests of money..

Question 9) Can we get together for a Gang Bang?

I only do Chitty Chitty with my Bang Bang.

Question 10) Do you mind that I write you all the naughty things that I want to do to you.

Not one bit. I have the most exciting e-mail of anyone I have ever met.
Send all your fantasies, and I love the ones with pictures attached.
Life is short so have fun.

_______________________

Well that is this week’s love.
I know we have A LOT of questions that did not get answered. I do manage to get them all in at some point.
So stay tuned, AND SEND IN THOSE FOOD CRAVINGS…

Hey everyone it is that time again, this weeks wild and crazy questions. You folks are fun and funny. Keep those questions flowing.

Question 1 Do you like sperm?

At 15 calories a serving, and with geneticists now saying that women’s physiology can benefit from regular doses of sperm, I believe it a healthy choice and should be placed on the lower levels of food pyramid. And as a little known additional fact- it is PH balanced so it is safe for fish.

Question 2 What is the perfect size cock?
Size will never match motivation in the question of COCK PERFECTION.

Question 3 Have you ever owned a GTO?
Ahhhh- Sex with a stick. The way life should be.

1964-1974 great years, and who could not love the FIRST TRUE muscle car.

No I have not had the pleasure to own this beauty but the revival has some thrilling characteristics like 400 horsepower, under 35K, aluminum engine, and six speeds.
But noting beats the real thing…

Question 4 Have you ever had sex in a snow plow?

Dude-have you ever seen a snow plow?
You would have to be ON the snowplow or in the CAB.

Question 5 Have you ever had sex in a ski chalet?

WOW- The first thing that popped into my head is to use the rhyming verbal reflection- pee risqué Because I have never been in a ski chalet.
And I have pee’d risqué.

Question 6 What do you find rude from a man who wishes to make a sexual advance?

Nose picking, drunken stupidity, extreme right wing mis-beliefs, greasy hair that smells, and lingering body odor that actually leaves a taste in your mouth. In that order

Question 7 What do you think about missionary position?
I think missionaries used it because they can get DEEP inside of you and have full body contact- like Jesus would….

Question 8 Does your husband keep you satisfied?

I am all woman with great tits, well educated with a great resume, and I am well off.

I am satisfied everyday I wake up. He just makes me happy.

Question 9 Will you ever suck my cock?
No and never cum to mind

Question 10 Have you ever made love to a man that wears women’s panties?

Ohh this is quite a story.
It should be classified as how to horrify any girlie-girl type of woman.

When Hubby and I were first dating (and we had not had sex yet ) I left a little “GIFT” under his pillow. A pair of red lace thong panties that I was wearing (so they would be scented) as a little something to think about when he crawled into bed all alone that night. We worked in the same place so we saw each other several times a day so I was sure to get a remark right away the next morning.


The next day he made no mention of it, and I thought:
“hmmm -Stupid bastard probably never looked under his pillow”

Then right as I was getting ready to get in my car and drive home after a long day at work he says” hey I have a secret to tell you” and he unzips his pants and open’s the fly to reveal that he is WEARING my red underpants and a shit eating grin.

I was shocked
Horrified
and stunned.

He was thrilled to have stopped me in my tracks.
And gives me that dumb ass teenager look like “hey I can fit in a locker and scare the girls!”

My instant reply was with a furrowed brow “That can’t feel good”

His reply was “They are not comfortable I need a bigger size”

So to answer your question, YES, I have and I still am making love to a man has worm women’s underpants and MAN enough to admit it.

Thats is for this week. You are the best! If you keep looking I'll keep posting.
HUG HUG- Bird

The Long awaited and often celebrated TOP TEN QUESTIONS FOR BIRDLOVER.

These are the true Blue questions from YOU the community to me BirdLover.

Question 1) Can I spunk up your tight shitbox and spit it in your mouth?

WOW! That was the best recipe for adjectives and verb slop I have ever seen. I like the new urban- Irish flavor in the request.

BUUUUT, I am a girl and we do not have shitboxes…

That line would never get you in my tight anything.

Question 2) Was the truck shot real?

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Ok that was harsh; I was still creeped out from Question 1.
It was just a damn lucky shot.
Doesn’t my nipple look soft and sort of glistening??

Question 3) I would like to see you in a bikini.

Me too. Let’s talk suntan and Jenny Craig.

Question 4) Do you think up all of these answers yourself?

If I said yes would that make you tremble in fear and whimper in discomfort?
OK then,
YES

Question 5) Is your Hubby ever scared we will steal you away?

I am pretty big to covertly STEAL- even in Iowa.
Hubby has held on to me through twenty years, loads of kids, two wars, the fall of the Brazilian currency and me being stranded in a bank with live machine guns assigned to the bank tellers, the whole CIA lifestyle, and a house filled with odd pets that I let the kids bring home. I have big tits and make a nice bankroll I just don’t see that he will never LET me go.

Question 6) Do you know how to have sex in a water bed?

Is this a joke?
OK-OK I’ll take a stab at it.

Ummm- If I were going to have sex in a water bed I would use my fine buoyant titties as life boats for stray men.
How’s That?

Question 7) You're 50? No Way!!!!

Hey buddy- read with both your hands.
Your right- NO WAY.

Question I don't know if erotic literature holds any interest to you.

I think my e-mail would be categorized as erotic literature.

Question 9) Have you ever had sex with Sean Penn

No- and Never- come to mind first.

Then comes yick.

He has come along way since 1970’s cutie-pie on Barnaby Jones and Little House on the Prairie. He is older that I am and a Cali-Kid so we did not have the chance to date in High School. AND he has a temper problem and that was just too close to my home view of Vietnam Vets grilling and drinking in the backyard. I would not have even considered smoking a cigarette with him as a young adult. I have it from very close information that his BO smells like Onions and Olives.. ewwww-

But as an adult I totally have to say I am glad he woke up and looked in the political arena and figured out that there is a whole world outside of the USA. And bigger bullies than paparazzi.

Question 10) Why is the CIA using Facebook to advertise, is really spying on students?

That in my opinion would make a hell of a lot more sense that the REAL reason. I could stand behind that at least in theory as a new way to abuse our civil liberties.

The agency is actually trying to recruit young men and women for its National Clandestine Service. (for the real world “an elite corps, providing vital information needed by US policymakers, the military and law enforcement services to protect the national security interests of the American people.” Nice cut and past section there…

Last I checked they had over 3,000 friends…

That is more positive relationships that our country has in ALL of Eastern Europe.
-------------------------------------
Well that is this week’s installment.
Keep those cards and letters flowing.
OOXOXOXOX
Bird
-------------------
Please pretty boys..
Birdie needs a re-send

Hey to the guy who sent in the Southwester College question- I totally forgot the question- PLEASE re-send—And the Car questions- I blubbed those e-mails too. RE-SEND.

As some of you know I have some very odd food cravings BUT there are some of you who can actually TOP my taste buds.

This week’s winner is from NN member bigtittyloverforlife:
"1 cup of spoon-size shredded wheat, crushed to pulp
Add 1/2 cup canned salmon
1/2 cup pineapple chunks
1/2 cup frozen leaf spinach (thawed of course!)
1/2 cup cottage cheese.
mix it all up in a bowl and ENJOY!!!"

He swears this is great for working out..
Wow. That is impressive, you gotta be ALL MAN to chug that.

We do have a second runner up from the outside community:
A guy named SYD that I met this weekend on a trip to Colorado.

He actually ordered (at a truck stop that I was hanging at):

A bowl of Chili and a Huevos Rancheros omelette with extra cheese and hashbrowns O’Brien.

Then I watched as he mashed up the omelette with hash browns and poured it into his chili and ate it like some kind of sick breakfast barf soup. It was remarkable.

The gauntlet continues to be laid and we will see who is tough enough to admit their oddities. I will give you credit on the blog if you can come up with a TRUE food craving that makes me stand at attention.


Keep the sugar sweet for the tweet.
Bird